I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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