i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
