So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
