...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
