ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize