I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Barsexuality is the new black.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
