just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
