why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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