I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
