Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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