we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize