im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
