I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
