stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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