i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
