yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
this beer tastes like vomit already
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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