Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
