I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My vagina just recognized that song.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize
