My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize