Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
