Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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