Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
