some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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