I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm gonna fight the coyote
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
