I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize