Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
