I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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