You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
