He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
