i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
