it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
