I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
