Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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