just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
