i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
