Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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