Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
