she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
