Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
