And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Dear god my vagina.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
