My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
