So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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