This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
