I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
