I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
