there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
