I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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