Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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