sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
