They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize