Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
its not stalking. its research.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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