i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
