So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize