so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
