nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
