just come out here and I will go home with you...
I faked an abortion last night.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
