babies were throwing up all over the place
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
