i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
