Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
