If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
