If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize