Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
