Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
