dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize