okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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