So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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