i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
