Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
