I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
