woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize