We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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