Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
