After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
