Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
