My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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